“Homosexuality is contrary to our hyman nature.”

“To say that the majority of hetersexuals engage in sodomy is a fellacious and ignorant statement.”

Wild guess: These guys were teabagging this week.

“It is kind of like saying ‘my neighbor has a great medical plan, and time off for maternity, and retirement with bonuses’ I want what he has, but I am different, I have a different job that does not offer that. I feel I am being treated as a second class citizen. I want to have the same benefits that he has, but I don’t work for that company, I am going to protest and start a drive to get the same benefits without the qualifications required. It is only fair that I am treated the same as my neighbor..I am equal and those benefits are rightfully mine too. I think all people should have the same rights as all other people no matter what company they work for. I think we should all have the same free medical plan our Congressional leaders have and the same pay they have, and all the same benefits..after all we the people pay for what they have, we should have it too.”

What intrigues me most here is not the fact that “GrandmaOf24″ almost seems to be talking herself into the whole crazy concept of equality as she rambles on. It’s the fact that her male neighbor qualifies for maternity leave.

Is can see clearly now

April 17, 2009

“Is can see from your response that you are very flamboyant and has little self-control so I will keep it simple for you. Marriage is between a woman and a man, no matter how much you flame. You are upset with myself because I exude intelligence, logic and reason, traits that you severly lack.”

You say “exude,” I say  “wouldn’t recognize if they whacked your[self] over your sever[e]ly and inexplicably inflated head.” Potato, potahto.

“The who point is: Stay in and foul your own nest; don’t try to invade the neat, clean, tidy nests of others (heteros).”

If you grew up, as I did, on Horton Hears a Who and Horton Hatches the Egg, I don’t know how you can picture anything other than a cartoon elephant in that tidy nest, hearing a tiny insistent voice…..

“We’re here,” said the gays, “and unsure what you mean,
Since our nests, like yours, are all friendly and clean.
Our weddings, to you, must seem terribly wrong,
But to us, who aren’t bigots, they’re loving and strong.
Our town is called Who-ville, for we wish we knew
Just Who turned our civil rights over to you?”

“Two times they have lost and two times they have tried to sneak in by the back door this seams gay to me.”

Things that have gay seams: Hot pants, flannel shirts, and anything from the men’s section of Banana Republic.

Things that do not: Judicial appeals.

“A banana split is a dessert made with a banana, 3 scoops of ice cream (traditionally chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry), and 3 toppings (traditionally chocolate, strawberry, and marshmallow).
A person who did not care for marshmallow could substitute caramel, a person allergic to strawberries could substitute peach, but to be a banana split it MUST contain bananas and ice cream.
A dessert made from ice cream and toppings with no bananas is not a banana split.
A dessert made from bananas and toppings is not a banana split.
The combination of banana with ice cream is integral to the concept of the banana split. It defines what a banana split IS.
Likewise the complementarity of male and female is integral to marriage. The union of a man and a woman defines what marriage IS.”

What if it has two bananas and no cherry on top?

See you in homo hell

April 4, 2009

“Hell is sure to be over-populated one day from all this same sex stuff.”

Perfect. Since the wingnuts are convinced that same-sex marriage will doom the human race to extinction here on the mortal coil, this should even things out.

“This isn’t a Constitutional issue. Its a GOD issue. Maybe we should go back to biblical punishments of stoning and hanging one on a cross for their crimes.”

Apparently Holy Week has taught us nothing. Crucifixion doesn’t even work; three days later the perp is up and running around again.

Science/fiction

April 2, 2009

“you all dimiss god because it hits you where it hurts. i’m just saying from the stand point of what is natural marrying someone of the same sex makes no sence. that’s science. it isn’t natural scientifically to be with someone of the same sex. these losers are blaming everyone. they were blaming the blacks then the catholics, PROTESTONS, the mexicans, everyone…even infighting, and gays blaming themselveles. cry babies!”

In other science news, the discovery of a new subatomic particle, the Proteston, is making waves among biologists. Early research indicates that the Proteston is distinguishable by its disdain for the papacy and its fondness for church potlucks.

“I cant understand why where letting these sinners ruin our society they want to ruin marriage they have already ruined are younger generations minds buy starting with the kids telling them its ok for a man to marry a man thats so wrong you don’t teach children to sin gay people are ruining our society by teaching the younger generation its ok to do something cause it feels good if want to be gay fine go home be gay quit teaching it to my kids”

Would it be okay if we taught your kids a little something about punctuation and run on sentences otherwise theyll grow up and post inane and interminable comments on newspaper websites like their father who writes dumb bigoted things under the username Abraham Lincoln thats so wrong frankly if you ask me being gay is likely to be the least of their problems

“Where have our true heroes gone?
Where are our George Washingtonian’s?
Where are our Abraham Lincon’s?
Where are our KING Elvis Presely’s?
Where are our Thomas Edison’s?
Where are our Teddy Roosevelt’s?
Where are our General Mccarthur’s?
Where are the Napolean Bonaparte’s?
Where are the Alexander The GREAT’s?
Where are our true golden Heroes gone?”

Anybody seen a bunch of dead misspelled white guys?

“When will the little gays learn we don’t particularly care about their opinions. Ok you like perversion got it. now just tired of hearing you whine. We win, we will always win, we can do what we want because we are the majority. You have yet to prove that wrong.”

Good point. What we’re doing isn’t working. Send for….the BIG GAYS.

Unplesantville

April 1, 2009

“You really don’t know what you are talking about when you say you want to be there and wave at the Chirstians as they are taken out at the Rapture. Once that event occuss and it will one day take place, as sure as I am sitting in front of my computer screen. It will usher in the worst 7 years the world has ever seen. There will be a one world dictator who will pretend to be a man of peace, but will soon rule with an iron hand. everyone will be required to recieve a mark on their right hand or on their forhead to buy or sell anything, there will be wide spread famine, earthquakes and natural disasters. It won’t be plesant.”

OH MY GOD! I realize now that I had a presentiment of the Rapture just a few months ago! A despotic leader was in charge of the nation, and there were people starving, and we’d just had a little earthquake, and somebody stamped my hand before I was allowed to buy anything! ….Oh, wait. That was a nightclub in LA.

“Well I’m married (that’s real married for you confused folks), and besides the ethics of my adult sexuality excludes the molestation (that’s subduction to you confused folks) of adolescents.”

SUBDUCTION [suhb-duhk-shuhn]: Geology. The process by which collision of the earth’s crustal plates results in one plate’s being drawn down or overridden by another, localized along the juncture (subduction zone) of two plates.

REAL MARRIAGE [reel mah-raj]: Entrenched patriarchy. The process by which collision of two human beings results in one woman’s being drawn down or overridden by a man such as Marc34me, who, incidentally, is the same fine specimen who  gave us this.

Oh, brother

March 31, 2009

“People don’t have the big families like they did in years past so fewer ‘younger brothers’. Why are there so many more gays now than years ago. Mormons still have large families and when was the last time you saw a gay Mormon?”

Yesterday. Oh, no, scratch that, it was just this morning. Hey! There goes another one!

“Gays want to ask how their marriage hurts us? Ok you want an answer then answer this, how will gay marriage benefit the rest of the 95% of the population, if your answer is that it wont help, neither will we.”

Ignoring for a moment the myriad ways in which marriage equality arguably does benefit society, let’s simply consider the implications of adopting a system in which everything that doesn’t actively and tangibly advance the greater good is outlawed. Then, let’s consider the probability that the same guy who posted this is also on seven different internet forums telling anyone who will listen that Barack Obama is a dirty socialist.

“A merrage is and has been between a Man and a Woman. I don’t care what Homosexuals do as long as they do not degrade merrage. Don’t use the word ‘Merrage’ in your what ever.”

Isn’t it nice when their requests are so easy to accommodate?

Prop 8, can you hear me?

March 27, 2009

“Let me pose a question for you. I am not No on 8 bashing. Just posing a question. So don’t infer anything malicious. If women who have been on average paid 70 cents on the dollar of men, suddenly feel that they are discriminated against because they are ‘female’ in the employment category. Could they just use the word ‘male’ on job applications? We already have protections against discrimination for them but that didn’t do enough. They would rather use the same term as men.”

Isn’t that just like women? You men go out of your way to pass awesome anti-discrimination laws so that we’ll knock off our whining, and instead of taking our 70 cents and being grateful, we just keep complaining. In truth, we probably wouldn’t have been clever enough to dream up the whole “pretend to be a man” thing without the help and inspiration of this kind commenter (who are we, Yentl?), but now that we’ve got the idea in our heads, we intend to run with it. Watch out, workplaces of the world! We’re coming for your urinals next!

“It’s a good when the undocumented workers of this State have more rights then it’s citizens. You have a right to be gay. THAT”S YOUR RIGHT, I have the right not to be gay..THAT”S MY RIGHT !! Now shut up already and get back to work.”

My mind continues to boggle at the sheer number of people who seem genuinely to believe that Proposition 8 was the only thing standing between themselves and a mandatory new life as a gay swinger. At least the perceptive citation of immigration law gives this one its own special pizzazz.

Odessay, can you see

March 24, 2009

“It was at the time of Onstatine that a group of Bishops using existing manuscripts decided what was to be put in the Bible and what was not. We have far more documents dated much closer to the original writings for the New Testament than we do any other ancient document, that is considered to be literiarilly accurate, inlcuding the Illiad and the Odessay”

Wait…..all that stuff about Scylla and Charybdis, and Circe turning the guys into swine, and the blinding of the cyclops…..you’re implying that there’s some question about its historical accuracy? Amazing. I am Onstantly surprised by the things I learn here.

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