Gone to fairies, every one

April 1, 2009

“Where have our true heroes gone?
Where are our George Washingtonian’s?
Where are our Abraham Lincon’s?
Where are our KING Elvis Presely’s?
Where are our Thomas Edison’s?
Where are our Teddy Roosevelt’s?
Where are our General Mccarthur’s?
Where are the Napolean Bonaparte’s?
Where are the Alexander The GREAT’s?
Where are our true golden Heroes gone?”

Anybody seen a bunch of dead misspelled white guys?

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5 Responses to “Gone to fairies, every one”

  1. Lemur said

    Adding a delicious Irony Cherry on top of the Dumbass Sundae is the fact that Alexander the Great was, um, gay.
    …I honestly can’t think of any snark that’s funnier than just pointing that out.

  2. Joy said

    There’s a particular stupidness about the inclusion of Elvis Presley (KING Elvis Presley, no less) in this list that I find overwhelmingly stupid. I mean, I love Elvis as much as the next hound dog, but a “golden hero” the likes of Washington, Lincoln, Thomas Edison, etc.?

  3. Nicole said

    More importantly, where have all the people who know how to use apostrophes gone? I just want to finish every sentence:

    Where are our George Washingtonian’s BOXER SHORTS?
    Where are our Abraham Lincon’s TALL HATS?
    Where are our KING Elvis Presely’s PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA SANDWICHES?

    Please, stop me.

  4. Lauren O said

    Joy – Not to mention that he had a sort of androgynous, half-femme thing going on in his younger years. And caused at least a few instances of premarital sex.

  5. Joy said

    OMG Nicole, you’ve got me going.

    Where are our Thomas Edison’s light bulbs?
    Where are our Teddy Roosevelt’s big sticks?
    Where and when are our General Mccarthur’s returning?
    Where are our Napoleon’s delicious pastries?

    Lauren — good point; Elvis is so not the poster boy for “Christian Virtues” in so many ways.

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