“Homosexuality is contrary to our hyman nature.”

“To say that the majority of hetersexuals engage in sodomy is a fellacious and ignorant statement.”

Wild guess: These guys were teabagging this week.

“It is kind of like saying ‘my neighbor has a great medical plan, and time off for maternity, and retirement with bonuses’ I want what he has, but I am different, I have a different job that does not offer that. I feel I am being treated as a second class citizen. I want to have the same benefits that he has, but I don’t work for that company, I am going to protest and start a drive to get the same benefits without the qualifications required. It is only fair that I am treated the same as my neighbor..I am equal and those benefits are rightfully mine too. I think all people should have the same rights as all other people no matter what company they work for. I think we should all have the same free medical plan our Congressional leaders have and the same pay they have, and all the same benefits..after all we the people pay for what they have, we should have it too.”

What intrigues me most here is not the fact that “GrandmaOf24″ almost seems to be talking herself into the whole crazy concept of equality as she rambles on. It’s the fact that her male neighbor qualifies for maternity leave.

“Is can see from your response that you are very flamboyant and has little self-control so I will keep it simple for you. Marriage is between a woman and a man, no matter how much you flame. You are upset with myself because I exude intelligence, logic and reason, traits that you severly lack.”

You say “exude,” I say  “wouldn’t recognize if they whacked your[self] over your sever[e]ly and inexplicably inflated head.” Potato, potahto.

“The who point is: Stay in and foul your own nest; don’t try to invade the neat, clean, tidy nests of others (heteros).”

If you grew up, as I did, on Horton Hears a Who and Horton Hatches the Egg, I don’t know how you can picture anything other than a cartoon elephant in that tidy nest, hearing a tiny insistent voice…..

“We’re here,” said the gays, “and unsure what you mean,
Since our nests, like yours, are all friendly and clean.
Our weddings, to you, must seem terribly wrong,
But to us, who aren’t bigots, they’re loving and strong.
Our town is called Who-ville, for we wish we knew
Just Who turned our civil rights over to you?”

“Two times they have lost and two times they have tried to sneak in by the back door this seams gay to me.”

Things that have gay seams: Hot pants, flannel shirts, and anything from the men’s section of Banana Republic.

Things that do not: Judicial appeals.

“A banana split is a dessert made with a banana, 3 scoops of ice cream (traditionally chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry), and 3 toppings (traditionally chocolate, strawberry, and marshmallow).
A person who did not care for marshmallow could substitute caramel, a person allergic to strawberries could substitute peach, but to be a banana split it MUST contain bananas and ice cream.
A dessert made from ice cream and toppings with no bananas is not a banana split.
A dessert made from bananas and toppings is not a banana split.
The combination of banana with ice cream is integral to the concept of the banana split. It defines what a banana split IS.
Likewise the complementarity of male and female is integral to marriage. The union of a man and a woman defines what marriage IS.”

What if it has two bananas and no cherry on top?

“Hell is sure to be over-populated one day from all this same sex stuff.”

Perfect. Since the wingnuts are convinced that same-sex marriage will doom the human race to extinction here on the mortal coil, this should even things out.

“This isn’t a Constitutional issue. Its a GOD issue. Maybe we should go back to biblical punishments of stoning and hanging one on a cross for their crimes.”

Apparently Holy Week has taught us nothing. Crucifixion doesn’t even work; three days later the perp is up and running around again.

“you all dimiss god because it hits you where it hurts. i’m just saying from the stand point of what is natural marrying someone of the same sex makes no sence. that’s science. it isn’t natural scientifically to be with someone of the same sex. these losers are blaming everyone. they were blaming the blacks then the catholics, PROTESTONS, the mexicans, everyone…even infighting, and gays blaming themselveles. cry babies!”

In other science news, the discovery of a new subatomic particle, the Proteston, is making waves among biologists. Early research indicates that the Proteston is distinguishable by its disdain for the papacy and its fondness for church potlucks.

“I cant understand why where letting these sinners ruin our society they want to ruin marriage they have already ruined are younger generations minds buy starting with the kids telling them its ok for a man to marry a man thats so wrong you don’t teach children to sin gay people are ruining our society by teaching the younger generation its ok to do something cause it feels good if want to be gay fine go home be gay quit teaching it to my kids”

Would it be okay if we taught your kids a little something about punctuation and run on sentences otherwise theyll grow up and post inane and interminable comments on newspaper websites like their father who writes dumb bigoted things under the username Abraham Lincoln thats so wrong frankly if you ask me being gay is likely to be the least of their problems