I, for one, welcome our new rodent overlords

October 14, 2008

“Just last tuesday when it was 105 degrees in Anaheim, it broke the record temp recorded back in 1899. Scientists studied rats and found out that when overpopulation occurred, an increased rate of homosexuality and aggression took place, Read your basic Ecology 100 book before you start arguing with someone with a biology degree.”

Honestly, there’s a lot I don’t understand here. At first I assumed that the author was blaming global warming for the increase in “homosexuality and aggression,” but when I asked for clarification, he assured me that global warming was imaginary. Then I said something along the lines of “Oh, like your biology degree?”, and though he didn’t actually deny that, he did somehow arrive at the conclusion that I was a member of NAMBLA, who he claims are the single biggest funders of the No on 8 campaign, because I can’t prove that they aren’t, just as he can’t prove that he isn’t a Liberty University dropout whose last encounter with “biology” was picking out the moldy Cheetos from his expired party-size bag.

All I know is that a mutant strain of Gay Fighting Rats would really be something.

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One Response to “I, for one, welcome our new rodent overlords”

  1. VB said

    Why do I find myself humming the Michael Jackson song, “Ben”, while I’m reading this idiot’s post?

    Ben, the two of us need look no more,
    We both found what we were looking for….

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