We want….a shrubbery!

October 16, 2008

Meet Jane Chastain, professional idiot, who’s written several columns for WorldNetDaily (better known in these parts as WingNutDaily) about the sanctity of marriage and the audacity of the preening homosexuals who want to ruin it for everybody else. Here’s a snippet that pretty well sums up her take on the issue:

“By legalizing unions between a man and a woman, the government was able to put a ‘hedge of protection’ around the family unit and give the partners in these unions certain rights that went along with their responsibilities, along with certain benefits to encourage the formation and the stability of these units. Gay rights activists want to change the definition of marriage from a union between a man and woman, to a union between any two (or more) people living together in a ‘committed’ relationship. Are you beginning to see the problem? If everyone is allowed inside the hedge, then the hedge, for all practical purposes, ceases to exist.”

Let’s review: There’s a special, magical hedge encircling a secret garden reserved for godly married straight people who already have children or are appropriately hell-bent on creating some, and if we start letting just anyone traipse around on the Lawn of Righteousness, then the hedge will miraculously disappear (or wilt, or get Raptured, or something), and the riffraff will start mingling alongside the VIPs as if they were all equals or some such uppity nonsense.

But remember, folks, it’s the GAYS who want “special rights.”

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7 Responses to “We want….a shrubbery!”

  1. pizzadiavola said

    _But remember, folks, it’s the GAYS who want “special rights.”_

    The hypocrisy and blindness is amazing.

  2. fearlessleader said

    Ain’t it?

    The “hedge,” by the way, seems to be a recurring image in fundy arguments against same-sex marriage. I found one article entitled “Guard Your Marriage with Affair-Proof Hedges,” which I was SURE would be satire—but it turned out to be entirely earnest!

  3. Rachel said

    Oh, good grief!

    Are you interested in some Northern CA quotes? In an otherwise very encouraging story in the Oct. 16 San Jose Mercury News (the gist being that Asian-American voters are overwhelmingly against Prop 8), Bill Tam was quoted as saying, “We hope to convince Asian-Americans that gay marriage will encourage more children to experiment with the gay lifestyle and that the lifestyle comes with all kinds of disease.”

  4. fearlessleader said

    Oooh, thanks, Rachel! I’m off to Google Bill Tam….

  5. pizzadiavola said

    Guard Your Marriage with Affair-Proof Hedges

    If you can afford the right landscapers, your marriage will prosper!

    Or maybe she’s suggesting building your house inside a hedge maze, so that your spouse can’t make it out to have a clandestine affair?

  6. fearlessleader said

    Or maybe she’s suggesting building your house inside a hedge maze

    HAHAHA! Maybe THAT’S why Henry VIII had all those hedge mazes at his palace!

  7. VB said

    She sounds like a big BUSH supporter to me!

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