Jim Garlow, professional idiot

October 29, 2008

If you hear a great rumbling sound in the vicinity of downtown San Diego this weekend, it will be either the groaning stomachs of the thousands of faithful evangelicals who plan to gather at Qualcomm Stadium to fast and pray against the evil scourge of gay marriage, or the earthquake God sends to shake some sense into their undernourished brains. The arena altar call is in part the brainchild of Jim Garlow, the senior pastor of La Mesa’s Skyline Community Church, and one of the most creatively offensive bigots yet featured on this site.

Now, Skyline is a big, diverse place, with something for every Christian—for example, if you enjoy killing animals for Christ, you’ll want to sign up for Crossfire, the gun-lovers’ ministry—but its main purpose these days is Protecting Marriage. Let’s let Jim tell us a few of the reasons that this is so important:

“Satan is obsessed in destroying marriage, the coming together, fitting together of the two complimentary halves of humanity – male and female, since they are on earth, a mirror, an image, of what is to be fulfilled at the end of this age. And that is why we are in the battle we are in. It is not ultimately about earthly marriage, about our religious freedoms, our churches, or even about the practice of homosexuality as such. It is about the desire of Satan to decimate the picture of God’s ultimate design for the Cosmos – the Grand Wedding of His Son to the Prepared Bride.”

“When Lou [Engle, another professional idiot] was in Cairo, Egypt, this pastor said to him, ‘The eyes of the world are on California. We’re watching California and the vote on marriage. Because…if you fail to stop it, what will be unleashed across the world will be a spirit worse than radical Islam.'” [And in case you’re wondering, Jim Garlow is no fan of Islam.]

“[If] we lose, [pastors] go to jail. How soon I don’t know….If you don’t care about this campaign, don’t want to get involved, you can go to jail and start a wonderful prison ministry. But if you want religious freedom, we’re going to have to win this thing.”

Okay, Jim, we hear you: The Axis of Homosexuality is 1) responsible for Satan’s habitual wedding-crashing, 2) worse than people who fly airplanes into buildings, and 3) destined to crowd our prisons with conscientious clergy who refuse to elevate committed adult relationships to the Godly status of paintball.

Just one request, Jim—if you dislike the gays so much, would you please give back their hair?

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2 Responses to “Jim Garlow, professional idiot”

  1. Rachel said

    You nitwit, Jim. I’m a preacher’s kid. No one’s going to take you to court, let alone jail, for refusing to marry a gay or lesbian couple, any more than they’d take a Catholic priest to court for refusing to marry a Catholic to a non-Catholic. I don’t suppose any self-respecting GLBT folks would be prefer to have a reluctant bigot officiating at their service when they have a large range of better options, both religious and civil.

    Ahem. I feel better now.

  2. vk raju said

    where did you hear of hindu and buddhist religious wars?[i heard on npr on 24th july.

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