Why settle for a Unity Candle when you could have a lake of fire?

November 6, 2008

“I say yes to prop 8 and 4. Gay marriage is unnatural and a big scam. Alot of these people are not even ‘gay’, they just want the benefits and tax breaks. I also say, if me and my dog are in love, then why can’t I marry my dog? We are in love, so we should have equal rights too. My point is, there has to be a limit. Churches should have the right to refuse to marry gays, if it is against their religious beliefs. Go get married in a satanic church.”

The jig is up, y’all. You knew it was only a matter of time before somebody caught on to Operation Closeted Heterosexual. But we only tried to pass as gay because society backed us into a corner; if straight people had any other means of accessing the benefits of marriage, I for one could have saved a bundle on flannel and power tools.

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One Response to “Why settle for a Unity Candle when you could have a lake of fire?”

  1. Rachel said

    Here’s a thought: Anybody who asks “Can I marry my dog?” should have to marry his or her dog.

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