Be fruity and multiply

November 14, 2008

“Listen here you fruitcake fairy…keep dreaming…alcohol and homosexuals are two different things?…now you’re reaching!! What is so appealing about two guys in love? It is un-natural and against Nature. Do people really want our kids subject to the fruitful nature of homosexuals?”

Wait just a cotton-picking minute. I have several objections to this comment.

1) First you hated us because we couldn’t be fruitful. Now you hate us because we’re too fruitful. Pick one, please; you’re upsetting my gay apple cart.

2) What kind of lousy fairy is the “fruitcake fairy”? If I’m going to be visited by a fairy, I want it to be the laundry fairy, or the chocolate-chip cookie fairy, or the civil rights fairy. Hmmph. Fruitcake.

3) Alcohol and homosexuality are two different things. One makes you a little dizzy, costs you money, gives you headaches, and goes great with tapas. The other…..oh, wait. Never mind.

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