Queer Eye for the Straight God

December 9, 2008

“I am just laughing at how thick in the head some people are. Do any of you even know what a bible is? In the Bible is the definition of marriage given by God. You may not know God…He is the One you will never be with as long as you are living the ‘gay-life’. He defined marriage because that’s what He wanted. I don’t care what you people want. You never sent your only Son to die on a cross for my sins. You have never forgiven me for my sins. You cannot create the Heavens and the Earth. You are gay. All you can do is decorate, throw Oscar parties, hunt down married men on Craigslist, cry at protests and be filled with hate and anger. That’s it. I am so happy my vote stands in your way. I thank God for that and always will. Now move along…”

I assume this means that heterosexuals can create the Heavens and the Earth—they just can’t figure out whether to do them in Mid-Century Modern or Louis XV. Face it, straights. You need us.

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4 Responses to “Queer Eye for the Straight God”

  1. TheRadicalRealist said

    Typical theists’ delusions of grandeur. I hope he/she dies, for the good of humanity.

  2. wannnabeeuropean said

    theists make me sick.

  3. fearlessleader said

    Personally, I’ve got no problem whatsoever with theists, as long as they’re able to separate their faith from my civil liberties.

    I do have a problem with language like “I hope ___ dies.” We’ve heard too much of that directed at us to be engaging in it ourselves.

    Perhaps we can simply say “I hope he/she unwittingly places his/her plaid armchair in front of the striped drapes, thus becoming the laughingstock of the celestial neighborhood.”

  4. elle said

    I’m trying not to laugh, I swear, but the description of what gay people do…

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