Special edition: Are you cleverer than a bigot?

December 15, 2008

“What I am trying to educate you about is the definition of marriage, which means the union of a man and a woman. You and your crew want he word ‘marriage’ to become universal for all relationships which would dilute its meaning. There are plenty of ways to fix your angst but your side is bent on trashing a word that means more to most the people in this nation than you can comprehend. I have suggested new words such as, Gayknot, samesexiage, and homoarriage but there are many new words that can be used. How about Knotiage, Bondiage, Queeriage, Lesbianiage, or ball and chainiage.”

Folks, it’s time for our first ever Fundamentally Flawed Reader Challenge! “Donkey,” above, has offered us a rich array of new vocabulary to apply to our unions—and I’ve been reading Donkey’s work for long enough now to know that 1) he’s entirely serious, and 2) he could have used his love of synonyms to come up with a username that would have been simultaneously very similar to and far more appropriate than the one he selected.

Anyway, since the homophobes are dead-set against letting us share the precious word “marriage,” to which they apparently own the copyright, I’d invite you to come up with an alternative term to add to Donkey’s list. (Extra credit if it sounds totally revolting and conjures the image of blood gushing from an internal wound, like “homoarriage”!) Have fun!

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8 Responses to “Special edition: Are you cleverer than a bigot?”

  1. infamousqbert said

    lesbianiage sounds like a complicated cooking method.

    personally, i really like Queeriage. πŸ™‚

  2. JoAsakura said

    gayknot sounds like something you learn at camp… πŸ˜€

    ok. so.

    “homosexiweddirage!”

    ..which kind of sounds like finding out everyone coming to your gay wedding has brought you the same toaster oven off your registry.

  3. Chris said

    Sodomarriage.

  4. Rachel said

    Dykes to Watch Out For used “unionized” some years back to refer to Toni and Clarice after their trip to Vermont. (Methinks Donkey and his ilk could be accused of union-busting.)

    I wouldn’t mind reinvigorating an old word, “espousal,” which meant “the celebration of marriage” or “betrothal” long before it came to be figuratively applied to the defense of principles.

    But, really, there should be no problem with calling same-sex marriage what it is– marriage.

  5. I want to go for something with the unnecessary artificiality of “civil unionized” but including the moral outrage people have when they think of happy homo lovers.

    Legal Sodomy Union with its verb form “legal sodomy unionized” approaches the affect I’m looking for…

  6. Joy said

    How about we borrow from “The Princess Bride” and call it “Mawage.” You know, “Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…”

    Although I do also like Chris’ suggestion of “sodomarriage.”

  7. caseymae said

    How about ‘inferioration’? It’s closely linked to (and commonly confused with) ‘infuriation’.

    Or, emphasizing the civil and binding nature of the bond, how about ‘contracted’… as in “Lucy and I have contracted homophilia.”

    And there’s the image of gushing blood for ya.

  8. Arianne said

    I doubt that we can come up with anything to beat “Gayknot” and “Bondiage”. Not that I want to bekittle any of the FF readers. My co-mentally off same sex individual and I have thought long and hard about this challenge and have come up with the following:

    -Faggarriage
    -Dykeitudion
    -Fucknership (Also “life fucknership”. Members of this union are “fuckners” or “life fuckners”.)
    -Homorrhea

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