“Where have our true heroes gone?
Where are our George Washingtonian’s?
Where are our Abraham Lincon’s?
Where are our KING Elvis Presely’s?
Where are our Thomas Edison’s?
Where are our Teddy Roosevelt’s?
Where are our General Mccarthur’s?
Where are the Napolean Bonaparte’s?
Where are the Alexander The GREAT’s?
Where are our true golden Heroes gone?”

Anybody seen a bunch of dead misspelled white guys?


“Sorry I don’t care who has a union with who.
Who marries who yes.
But right now I am mulling over something important.
Whether or not to but a Sham Wow.”

Well, I’m glad you’re being Proactiv about this marriage issue. We can’t have people getting Snuggie with just anyone, or putting their Magic Bullet where it doesn’t belong.