“Homosexuality is contrary to our hyman nature.”

“To say that the majority of hetersexuals engage in sodomy is a fellacious and ignorant statement.”

Wild guess: These guys were teabagging this week.

Advertisements

Prop 8, can you hear me?

March 27, 2009

“Let me pose a question for you. I am not No on 8 bashing. Just posing a question. So don’t infer anything malicious. If women who have been on average paid 70 cents on the dollar of men, suddenly feel that they are discriminated against because they are ‘female’ in the employment category. Could they just use the word ‘male’ on job applications? We already have protections against discrimination for them but that didn’t do enough. They would rather use the same term as men.”

Isn’t that just like women? You men go out of your way to pass awesome anti-discrimination laws so that we’ll knock off our whining, and instead of taking our 70 cents and being grateful, we just keep complaining. In truth, we probably wouldn’t have been clever enough to dream up the whole “pretend to be a man” thing without the help and inspiration of this kind commenter (who are we, Yentl?), but now that we’ve got the idea in our heads, we intend to run with it. Watch out, workplaces of the world! We’re coming for your urinals next!

Very crafty

March 20, 2009

“Since perhaps you are a homosexual of course you would love not to be judged as vile and discusting of a human being. Therefore you cut out most of the epistle’s of Paul and replace with those of which you assume contradict Paul’s rather stern words against homosexuality. Very convenient, organized, and tidy as most homosexuals tend themselves to be.”

Welcome to Bible-Desecrating with the Anal-Retentive Sodomite! Today we’ll create perfectly symmetrical papier-mâché napkin rings from the pages of Paul’s letters, and tomorrow we’ll be applying our X-acto knives to Leviticus to turn tired Old-Testament proscriptions into neat yet festive origami tiaras.

“Just ’cause you keep calling marriage a ‘right’ doesn’t make it so. If marriage is a ‘right’, then baptism must be a ‘right’, right?”

Rite.

“DISGUSTING SODOMITES. The purest sulfpher in the world can be found at whats left over from the ancient city of Sodom and Gemorah. The purest sulpher(brimestone) rained down on those people, because of their homosexuality, beastialty and their pedophilles who walked the streets free. What are these people going to do when an earthquake takes away the electricity for their TV and refrigerator. What happens when their food and water supply they take for GRANTED, is taken away? Big Brother dosen’t care about the individual. The only place your headed to is a FEMA Concentration Camp”

I, for one, feel a lot better knowing that when the Last Judgment comes, FEMA will be on hand to restore order with their characteristic competence and compassion. Heckuva job, Big Brother! (No one could have predicted that a lake of fire would open up and swallow the wicked….)

Weird science

March 12, 2009

“CO is not he same as CO2. Close, but not the same. One fizzes your soda, the other one kills you. How ‘the same’ is that? It’s not. Simplar, yes. But the difference is significant.”

Not a moment too soon, the Knights Simplar galloped onto the scene to crusade against nuanced thought and intelligent discourse.